I was organizing things on my computer the other night and came across this little journal entry I wrote right after I had Cozette. It brought back so many memories and I teared up reading it because I realized just how fleeting time is. Look how little my Sage is in this photo?!
Since I'm feeling a bit nostalgic I thought I'd share it on this blog, for all you moms who feel tired and overwhelmed...this too shall pass and then you'll be on to the next baby ready to start it all over again! haha.
Mother of Two:"One morning I woke up and suddenly I was a mother of two! Where did the time go?! It was like all my life I dreamt of the day I would have two little girls, close together, sisters for life. They would be the best of friends, entertain one another for hours on end playing dolls and “house”, library and school. They would have that bond that I had with my four sisters (yes lots of estrogen in my home!) A bond that was like nothing you could compare.
Now that I have two precious daughters, it’s almost surreal. I went through moments of “what did I get myself into”. Moments of doubting myself as a mother. Moments of feeling utterly overwhelmed and unworthy of such perfect little babies that God had blessed me with. I started feeling sorry for myself. One day my husband came home after work with this gorgeous bouquet of flowers, and I just burst into tears. It was just one of those days…hormones, and being inside all day long, changing diapers, and leaking from every hole in my body (oh, is that tmi?!) just sent me a wee bit over the edge.
That night, I watched a video titled “Motherhood: an Eternal Partnership with God” by Jeffrey R. Holland. It was a message that I needed to hear. My eyes swelled with tears, no longer caused by my little pity party, but instead tears of utter gratitude. The video ended, and I sat there. I could see my reflection in the now black computer screen. I looked tired. My hair was in a high bun for the third day in a row (buns are just so convenient), and makeup, well who has time for that,right?! Suddenly, I realized, this reflection of a “I just want one good nights sleep” mama became someone who I admired. I am a mother. I am a teacher to these little girls of mine. I am an example of goodness. I am a leader and a motivator. I am a maid, a chef, and a nurse to these little munchkins. And this my friends is when I had an “ah-ha” moment. All these things will end. My girls will grow up, and the bags under my eyes from sleepless nights will disappear (hopefully?!). The endless toy pick up and diaper changing will be that of the past. So enjoy it. Enjoy it while it lasts.
I went to bed that night, sliding my ever so exhausted body into my nice clean sheets excited to get a little shut eye. Suddenly, the cry of hunger came from the basinet, and I thought, “Thank you Heavenly Father, for that sweet cry.”